Makeson “Shit”son
Makeson Drinxon Release Incites Comments Section Riots, Gains “Is Shit” Rating On Rotting Tomatoes [...]
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And I Thought LAST Year Was Bad.
I am prepared in mind and spirit and preparing now in force for the ever-prophesied “what we had coming to us.” [...]
2015’s Best American Investments
The Carson campaign makes this list for one reason above all: any person willing to sink money and time into it will soon have a much clearer view of smart investing, if they don't already. One could bet a pyramid full of grain on it. [...]
Done by Keithy’s “Frank’s Wine Shop” is a Business Miracle
The American Dream is alive and well, and it resides in the youthful spirit of entrepreneur Keithy [...]
Russian Rocket Makes Major Whoopsky
Officials from the DGTP are now investigating into why exactly the Russian Federal Space Agency would even have logged in coordinates for the IS. “Surely you can’t just type in those letters and safely deliver a rocket to the enemy like that, I mean, that’s fucking stupid.” [...]
ABC’s ‘Bachelor’ Party Special Event
It is atop the Skull-- a 42-foot-high grandstand moulded in the likeness of Disney’s iconic tri-circled mouse head-- that, with the aide of the executives, the contestants will ruthlessly flagellate some lucky unemployed fans of the series. Then Chris will have to choose between a threesome atop the body chunks with his exes, or Whitney. [...]
One Fish, Two Fish, Catfish’ed ‘hooFish
"Found some dude pretending he was me on chatrooms. And I was like ‘Hell no. Fuck outta here fish.’ Then I’m up on eBay and can’t find shit and I’m like, ‘Shit, I could do this. Be some Chinese dude and make a eBay kinda thing.’" [...]
#DeflateGate: Gates to Heaven Temporarily Deflated. St. Peter Cites “Too Many Ethnics”
“Year after year, the numbers grow,” the patron saint of bakers told Borfes. “Martinez this, Enichebe that. Heavyset and dense of bone, and often times both.” [...]
Belichick Comes Clean
Some were shocked by the news. But in truth, Belichick has been suspected by many to be a chain-smoking grandmother in her sixties for some time now. [...]
#GiveThemOurGirls: BP Trades 500 Girls for Good Land
“The exchange of women for goods is a tried and true economic device. We’ve been trading young girls for real wealth for centuries, and will, one hopes, continue doing so for the rest of our time on this glorious earth.” [...]
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