HEALTH ALERT!
COVID-19 Wonderdrug Swings to Bring Market to Its Knees Amid the wave of COVID-19 research, a drug company [...]
Lifestyle
Disney Burns with Holiday Cheer
Christmas was a time of grieving for the Disney parks this year, and Orange County is now reeling from perhaps the greatest human-error disaster in history. [...]
The Art of The Donkey Show pt. 4: Maudieval Times
In a sea of green, where all men are farmers, owning a donkey was like having a cock. Or hens. Everybody’s got them. But so many people were dying. And it’s hard to imagine a chicken penis being at all reminiscent of a human’s. Or even fun to look at. [...]
Makeson “Shit”son
Makeson Drinxon Release Incites Comments Section Riots, Gains “Is Shit” Rating On Rotting Tomatoes [...]
Insights into the Mind of a Millennial Entrepreneur
As the founder and CEO of my company, I have no time for the indulgences of the common American teenager. I [...]
The Art of The Donkey Show, pt. II: My Big Fat Greek Dildo
“It cannot be mere coincidence, our meeting in the wake of these discoveries,” waxed Stepanopopolous. The discoveries he speaks of are some of the sexiest things shoved inside of holes that I’ve ever born witness to, donkey or human alike. [...]
On Making Love to Pizza
Many women are barren, but do we chastise such couples, when--point in fact-- inseminating your infertile wife is the exact same thing as inseminating a pizza? [...]
ABC’s ‘Bachelor’ Party Special Event
It is atop the Skull-- a 42-foot-high grandstand moulded in the likeness of Disney’s iconic tri-circled mouse head-- that, with the aide of the executives, the contestants will ruthlessly flagellate some lucky unemployed fans of the series. Then Chris will have to choose between a threesome atop the body chunks with his exes, or Whitney. [...]
No Business Like Show Business: The Ever-Present Art of The Donkey Show
“So this is where she would stand?” I squat down, positioning myself as if under an equidae. “Or he,” Ahkmed replies. “The Sumerians are known to have enjoyed a wide variety of participants in their shows.” [...]
#DeflateGate: Gates to Heaven Temporarily Deflated. St. Peter Cites “Too Many Ethnics”
“Year after year, the numbers grow,” the patron saint of bakers told Borfes. “Martinez this, Enichebe that. Heavyset and dense of bone, and often times both.” [...]
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