Makeson “Shit”son
Makeson Drinxon Release Incites Comments Section Riots, Gains “Is Shit” Rating On Rotting Tomatoes [...]
Technology
Apple iVee Aims to Plug Up iPhone Sales
Apple CEO Tim Cook described the new Apple Seed program as “what the company is going to come out with.” [...]
Insights into the Mind of a Millennial Entrepreneur
As the founder and CEO of my company, I have no time for the indulgences of the common American teenager. I [...]
The Art of The Donkey Show, pt. II: My Big Fat Greek Dildo
“It cannot be mere coincidence, our meeting in the wake of these discoveries,” waxed Stepanopopolous. The discoveries he speaks of are some of the sexiest things shoved inside of holes that I’ve ever born witness to, donkey or human alike. [...]
One Fish, Two Fish, Catfish’ed ‘hooFish
"Found some dude pretending he was me on chatrooms. And I was like ‘Hell no. Fuck outta here fish.’ Then I’m up on eBay and can’t find shit and I’m like, ‘Shit, I could do this. Be some Chinese dude and make a eBay kinda thing.’" [...]
#GiveThemOurGirls: BP Trades 500 Girls for Good Land
“The exchange of women for goods is a tried and true economic device. We’ve been trading young girls for real wealth for centuries, and will, one hopes, continue doing so for the rest of our time on this glorious earth.” [...]
Gates Erects Erection Effigy, Quote: “We’ve Waited Long Enough”
“We used the same technology for Gollum,” Lownes informed. “And Andy actually helped loads with the expression and movement for the statue. We’ve been blessed.” [...]
Borfes’ Top 5 Lists of 2014
Whittling down this year’s registers proved no easy task. Our editorial staff debated late into second breakfast as to this year’s picks, but when the dust and blood and tranquilizers finally settled, these final 5 remained… [...]
The REEL Movie North Korea Doesn’t Want You to See
Why, we asked, such a strong music choice for the clip? “I think Dave Matthews Band really sucks dickhole,” the up-and-comer mused. [...]
Apple Watch to be Passed Down for “Generations”
"The voice and payment functions are cool, but I'm more excited about this watch's potential as a masculine token of approval to usher my unborn son into manhood." [...]
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