Charles Manson: “I Met My Wife on Tinder”

Next time you swipe right, you may wonder if the man you’ve just deemed hot is, in fact, not: He’s Charles Manson.

A former cock-eyed country-singing cult leader and current life-prisoner, Charles’ interests on the dating site included Helter-Skelter, Tom Wolfe’s Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, and the hit-show Breaking Bad.

“These are broad interests, shared by many on Tinder and Facebook,” says Becca Hammond, Social Media Strategist at Merman and Mermaid, Inc. “Many millennials associate Helter Skelter with the Beatles, and not Charles Manson’s murderous manifesto.”

Mr. Manson himself has been clear with his motives and intentions. “Tinder is a great site for connecting people. When you’re inside, gettin’ a girl to swipe right is the real-life equivalent of luring her into your sex-death dungeon mansion.

“Once she’s there, it’s all pretty much like you imagine. Then, you put a ring on it.”

Charles’ bride-to-be could not be contacted for this story, but Mr. Manson commented on her behalf: “Oh yeah, she’s a hottie, she’s naughty, she’s all mine and she loves me to pieces. These walls can keep me caged, but they can’t cage love.

“They can’t cage love.”