LOS ANGELES, CA – Reports are spilling in from Beverly Hills as police and fire crews have made an attempt to barricade what might be left of British late night host Craig Ferguson’s multi-million dollar Hills home.
The presumably Scottish expat was woken early Wednesday by banging and chants of “Don’t shoot,” only to find a stampede of angry protesters bombarding his home with projectiles and explosives before making off with prized possessions.
“Well I was startled, to say the least,” the Brit-something-or-another told reporters. “I thought for some reason it could be about the ‘No-vote’ back home, but, now… I just don’t know.”
It wasn’t. The LAPD can now confirm the attack was the result of confused LA-area protesters venting their anger over the Darren Wilson court decision in Ferguson, MO.
“We just hope this is the end of it,” remarked police commissioner Warren Delson, “and that our local rioters get better informed. We’ve got teams keeping an eye on Jesse Tyler and that kid from the Clarissa show just in case, as a precaution.”