The Top 5 Reasons Bernie Sanders Would Not Make A Good Chipotle GM
It's that time of year again, Borfesinesspeople of the world. The Annual Year-End Holiday List Blast is back, and we're coming hard out of the pipes with our first installment. [...]
lists
Heathen Scum of the Year
To say no American can any longer practice the true faith of The Right Church of The Correct Peoples of Our Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth is unfortunately a truth and possibly the hardest news one will ever have to utter in the expanse of reality. But as it were, this fact does not change THE fact that any soul not pursuing the faith is damned eternal forever. We write cartoons and comic strips about it all the time. [...]
New Year. Same Heathen Dogs.
How many police officers shot people this year? Probably gonna be more. I think it’s right that they become GIs or, at least, more militarized and physically aggressive with the citizens of this great nation. It’s only a matter of time before a famined drought like none ever witnessed and storm of locust rain upon the heathens in the desert plain... [...]
Borfes’ Top 5 Lists of 2014
Whittling down this year’s registers proved no easy task. Our editorial staff debated late into second breakfast as to this year’s picks, but when the dust and blood and tranquilizers finally settled, these final 5 remained… [...]
Borfes’ Top 10 Albums of 2014
2014 was a year of tabloid headlines for Bono’s pop star daughter, whether it was the illicit images of of the underage singer blowing George Zimmerman or her accusation that U2 “spread more AIDS than they prevent." [...]
Borfes’ 5 Business-iest Coups of 2014
The GOP proved to the world that if you set your mind to it, your government could back you in the infiltration and public release of all private and security information for a multinational corporation that has disobeyed your outlandish and ridiculous demands of cessation. Lucky for Americans, our desensitization towards such tyrannical behavior has been well underway thanks to a very different GOP. [...]
Borfes’ Top 5 Units of Currency 2014
We are first and foremost a super serious businessmenchartikalesprovakture – as our German money lender ancestors would shout at the Jews. But sometimes, you just need to take a step back and look at money without thinking about its gooey delicious worth. [...]
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